AP News Briefing
AP News – Washington, D.C. – February 3rd, 1960
Late Last night, the Presidential Primaries for both the Republican and Democrat Candidates came to a conclusion. With relatively little competition, sitting Vice-President Richard “Tricky Dick” Nixon won the Republican Nomination, whilst across the aisle, the increasingly controversial Massachusetts Senator John F. Kennedy won the Democratic Nomination in a closer contest. Neither has so far announced a running mate.
AP News Correspondent Ralph Newsman was on the scene at Kennedy’s nomination, and attempted to catch an interview with the Hot Senator. His account of the events that unfolded afterwards follow, in their entirety. A summary/tl;dr can be found below.
~
The evening had dragged on, and on, before Kennedy finally secured the nomination. When the voting stopped, and the votes were tallied, and he won, a cheer rose up in the crowd. The presenter congratulated the Senator (who I must admit, looked very hot by then, both temperature-ily, and physically), and informed both him and the crowd that, just a mile away, his new opponent had been selected by the Republican National Congress. Vice President Nixon would be running for President. Senator Kennedy’s face made a somewhat inexplicable contortion at that announcement, and it piqued my interest. I felt like it would be necessary to get an interview with him, and potentially ask him about what he thought of the competition, how he sized the VP up. Unfortunately, it seemed every Reporter in the Eastern United States had the same idea. I couldn’t make my way to the Senator for the whole rest of the evening. To try and sneak in an interview, I chose to exit the building and wait near Kennedy’s car, to try and catch him less crowded. It didn’t take long for him to exit the building, but I was shocked to see him walk straight past his car, and onto the sidewalk. He checked both ways to make sure that he was not being followed, and crossed the street, to what appeared to be a closed restaurant. My curiosity piqued, I followed. We both entered the building, me a few seconds after him, and I saw him sit down in an empty, unlit booth in the restaurant. I quietly made my way across the room, crouching behind the counter, in the shadows, where I knew Senator Kennedy would never see me. Squinting my eyes, I could barely make out that there was another figure, sitting across the table from him. Who was this mysterious figure? I wondered. Kennedy finally broke the silence.
“What next?” he asked, his voice sounding distraught, as though his heartstrings were squeezing tight his throat.
“Oh Jack. What have we gotten ourselves into?” the response came low, in a gravelly voice, oozing with the care and affection only a lover can express. “We’ve really done ourselves over now.” Yet still, I couldn’t place the voice.
“Oh Tricky, oh Tricky, I know. We both knew this could never be.” The Senator was cut off by the response.
“Don’t say such things Jack! I, am not a shnook! I’m not an idiot!” I could barely control myself, as a gasp rose in my throat. The Vice President!? “We knew it would be hard, we didn’t think it could never be.”
“You’re right Dick, you’re right.” I could see the Senator’s silhouette, as he reached his hands across the table, and grasped the Vice Presidents’ hands. “What do we do, though? We are forced to be enemies! Enemies on such a large stage, too!”
“It’s nothing we can’t survive, Jack. If our love is true, nothing will tear it apart.”
“Oh, this love is so true, I know it in my heart.”
“I do too. This election, though, this election will be hard.”
“How are we to see each other, when we must be campaigning until November? We both know we can’t justify campaigning in the same towns, the same states!”
“Jack, we’ve disagreed on policy over the years. We’ve disagreed about the future of America, but we’ve never disagreed on our love.”
“Oh Dick, of course not. Since the very moment that I laid eyes on you in the Senate Chambers the first time, I knew we were meant to be.”
At this point, I could no longer contain myself, and I stood up, quietly, my hands shaking, and raised my camera. FLASH I had the photo!
Both candidates looked up at me, then back at each other.
“Jack, babe, I guess the secrets out now…” Senator Kennedy laughed, and looked at me.
“I guess so.” he paused “What will the public say?”
“HA!” I cried out “This will be the greatest story I’ve ever published! I’ll be a world-famous reporter now!” The Senator and Vice President just laughed.
“Oh Tricky, babe, you know what? I don’t care what happens anymore! I don’t care if they kick me off the nomination! I know what I really want now! I want you!”
“Oh Jack, I want nothing more than that! Who cares about being the president! The Soviets have never been our greatest challenge. My greatest challenge has always been hiding my love for you!”
The Senator and Vice President stood up and leaned over the table, hugging each other and kissing, in a way that only those truly in love could.
I felt really awkward watching that, so I backed away from them, and out of the Diner. I would let them do whatever that was, but the visuals of the two Presidential Candidates making out wouldn’t be leaving my mind for a while.
~
AP News has reached out to both candidates for comment. Vice President Nixon said “oh baby do I ever love Jack.” Senator Kennedy said “Tricky Dick is the only one for me.”
Official AP News tl;dr: Nixon and JFK have been photographed on a date, they are in love, and are not denying it anymore. How will this affect the campaign trail? Who knows?
Citation details:
Author: Jabic Feser
Page Title: Fly Me To the Hughes: Turbulence in Love
Site Name: Jabic -
Link: https://balkavanians.com/fly-me-to-the-hughes-turbulence-in-love/
Date Published (DMY): 22/03/2025
Last Updated (DMY): 22/03/2025